Regards from Hell
by IwantCake
Summary: "What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love." ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov. Kol/OC


**AN/ Hi everyone! This is my very first fanfiction ever so I'm actually quite nervous about this. I have always loved Kol Mikaelson and I'm still not over his death- so I decided to write a little story about him. Know that this will be quite a dark story and Mr. Kol Mikaelson will not be playing the nice guy. I know it's a little short but it's only the prologue, the story itself will definitely build. Please, do let me know what you think of it. ****I'm always willing to listen to constructive criticism.**

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**Prologue**

Autumn Rhodes did not cry that night. Not even when the memories fluttered back to her, only to slap her in the face- cold and hard. No, instead, she scoffed at her own pathetic misery she called life. She looked back with anger and grief but foremost she looked back with sorrow. It baffled her how she could dwell on the past and still be ashamed with every fiber of her pitiful being.

She put her hands over her ears and closed her eyes so hard that it was almost on the verge of being painful. _Leave me alone_. She thought, yet, the deformed man standing in front of her made no movement to do so. Instead, he looked at her with no emotion written on his face. Autumn counted to ten, most of the time it did its trick. But this time, her ancient old trick failed on her. He was still there, looking triumphantly down at her. And she was sitting there, bewildered yet small.

The haunting images inserted themselves back into her mind and once again, when that had happened, there was no going back. There was no 'getting rid of them'. There was only wishing for two things- death or hoping that she would fall into a deep slumber quickly, hoping that tomorrow she would cope better with them. With much courage, she moved her long legs from beneath her, hurrying herself off the white couch and walked over to the window. Looking outside she sighed loudly, seeing her reflection in the cold glass.

The dark drape outside her window wasn't doing anything good with her mood. It was ironic really, how the sky could represent the same thing she was feeling inside her chest. Dark and cold, with no hint of a hidden light. There was nothing that was keeping her here anymore and yet, here she was. Still in the exact same town and in the exact same residence. It only took her one year, one year to lose everything she had built. Her family, her dignity, emotions, even her memories she had lost- every joyous memory she ever had were gone.

Did she make that much of a big mistake that she had to be punished in such cruel way. He still invaded her mind every now and then. No, if she said that then she was lying to herself. He was on her mind 24/7, day and night, every second of every hour. And even in her dreams he invaded her, but she knew that wasn't him. It was all her, because he was gone with no intention of ever coming back to her. Not that she wanted him to, truth to be told if she ever saw him again she would go ballistic.

She would torment him, like he tormented her. She would put all of her frustration and anger out on him, just like he did to her. At this point Autumn was breathing heavily, the remains of her heart hammering loudly inside her hallow chest. She tried to think back of something joyful that had happened to her, but all she could think about was the torture she endured. She sighed and bumped her head against the cold window. Did it really matter? After a while a memory became just a memory and started to have its blurs, from that it only started to grow distant to a point where it's not even a full memory. Just bits and pieces of what happened at that time on that particular moment. Is it really even a worthy to be called a memory then?

But the question remained, do memories matter? She didn't need time to ponder over it, she already knew the answer. They did matter, every single one of them- they all mattered. Memories were proof that you've been somewhere, done something. It was a reminder that you've lived, that you've met people who made an impact on your life so much that you couldn't help but remember them.

Of course it mattered! But there was no one to tell her what to do when they get taken away. It was all gone and there was little to no chance of getting it back, ever. Her blood started to boil and her heart started to ache. She cursed inwardly, _do not dare to cry._ How lonely she was, she would not ever cry. Not about this and certainly not about him. She was embarrassed and infuriated with her existence- to rot in eternity by herself with no knowledge of the girl she was before. Was she ever happy or has she been always this miserable. Perhaps he did her a favor, perhaps she wasn't even worth remembering. But no matter how worthless she felt, Autumn Rhodes did not cry that night.


End file.
